I completely lost my cool yesterday with someone on my project team.  We were in our daily stand up meeting where I get updated on what each team member completed the day before and we plan the day.  Well, we are under a lot of pressure at this time, because we have major milestone on the June 1 and we could easily burn up another 4 weeks with all the loose ends.  What set me off was one member of the team stating that he wasn’t sure that he would complete his assignment.  I was perturbed when I responded with it will get completed; it must be completed.  He quipped back with, “I just started it.” And I guess that was enough to push me over the edge.  I snapped back with the fact that the assignment was given 4 weeks prior.  This simple chain of events was enough to release the rage that I have worked really hard to keep in check.  I proceeded to lay out the expectations and my concerns for the lack of work that was completed the prior day.  After a short rant I gained control and called the meeting, so I could take a walk around the block to cool off and get my head on straight.

On my walk I asked myself, why I went off.  I came up with these few points:

1. I am exhausted and have been running on very little sleep.
2. Lack of any down time to recover.
3. I have high expectations form this person.  I expect him to do all at 100%, to be committed to the goal, to live the example, because he openly voices his Christendom. 
4. I expect everyone to strive to surpass that bar.
5. I have not been adequately spending time in prayer and have 100’s of excuses why.

As I had learned many years ago, a simple activity like walking around the block helped me cool off and look at the situation with more objectivity.  It gives me the chance to reassess the situation and to makebetter decisions.  After my assessment and walk I realized that most of my frustration was self directed and would have been devastating to continue my rant against my team.  

This event reminded me that I am still a broken man in need of a savior in every part of my life.  To ensure that I do not wound others or myself, I must continue to look towards him for strength and to be my bridle.