Archive for the ‘Community’ Category

Facebook Cited in 20% of 2009 Divorces

Wednesday, December 30th, 2009

Facebook Screenshot

An interesting or maybe I should say concerning stat for 2009 is the percentage of divorces citing Facebook in the decree. I don’t think Facebook deserves the whopping 20% of the mentions or blame.  I personally believe that parties start grasping for ammunition and ways to hurt their spouse in divorce proceedings.  What I do believe is that Facebook makes a permanent public record of much of the behavior that happens in a generally more passive manner or within the hidden heart of man.  Do not get me wrong, I do think that the tool can lead to or make improper behavior easier, but the true issue is the heart of man.  Consider the casual conversation with coworkers or quick phone conversations; do they have any sense of flirting or sexual tension?  My point is; often, much what happens on Facebook happens between men and women in professional, civic and social settings, but are fleeting moments that are not thoroughly placed under examination.  Consider this, would you be comfortable with your spouse hanging at a bar daily with singles, former significant others and prowlers looking for an opportunity to encroach on their life?

I would suggest that you use great caution with all networking tools, not stop using them. They can make you vulnerable to people that you might normally avoid or not see in your day-to-day life and they provide a perceived secret place to do some “harmless” flirting. Be wary and open with your spouse as to prevent any acts of betrayal of trust.

Article on Facebook and Divorce Stats http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/facebook/6857918/Facebook-fuelling-divorce-research-claims.html.

Posted in Community, Leadership, Life, Technology, Thoughts | No Comments »

Encouragement from Open Chair

Thursday, August 27th, 2009

I had received some awesome encouragement during men’s group and wanted to give an old-fashioned praise report.  We were discussing Job and as we tend to get sometimes intense and not always careful on our volume.  A man walked up and asked if we had an open chair to which few of answered, yes.  He introduced himself as Frank and explained that his family was in the car, but wanted to join us and asked the time and interval we met.  It was really encouraging to have some confirmation that this group could have a positive influence on others, but also that our often loud moments discussing scripture where not offensive.

Posted in Community, Men's Group, Ministry | No Comments »

Saturday Mornings with the Guys

Thursday, August 27th, 2009

My old men’s group got back together for the first time in 11 months on Saturday, August 15th after I stepped down from leadership of the group.  We decided to meet at the location where the group was meeting 5 years ago when I first joined, Panera Bread in Oswego.  It was an encouraging seeing 10 of the 15 guys I invited showed up to get this started once again.  This group of men has been through ups and downs and has come back together as though we were always there and had never stopped. I realized this group had really become more than a bunch of guys who meet to discuss the topic of the week or because a church encouraged us to meet regularly to experience community.  We are a group of men from many different churches, if we attend at all, that has and is experiencing real community and not a pulpit buzzword. We have actually grown into each other’s lives and dare I say it have grown to be brothers.

I am looking forward to the early Saturday mornings, once again.

Posted in Community, Men's Group, Ministry | 1 Comment »

Rambling Apology

Wednesday, June 17th, 2009

This is going to ramble, so be patient with my writing.  I would also like to openly mention that this is not an excuse, but an open apology with some explanation to my actions and behavior.

Over a year ago I started placing dynamite to pillars in my life and in mid-September of last year I blew the final charges.  I was unsure at the time why I as was hell-bent on destroying all around me and severing ties, but I am starting to have a better understanding.

I had fallen under the notion that I needed to eliminate the majority of my relationships, specifically those that formed from within the church.  I was convinced that those relationships were the source of much of the strife in my life and were causing me too much pain and confusion. My logic was sound and followed the same advice my surgeon had given me a few months earlier, “The mass is not normal and will only shorten your life span. Therefore, you should remove it and give your body a chance to be healthy.”  So, methodically I started to pull away from those I once had trusted, even those few considered to be confidants. It was difficult to cut ties with some, but other it was too easy. What I was really struggling with my ability to trust anyone.  And much of my anger was directly related to people that I expected to act like Jesus, but I somehow forgot that they were as broken as I am.

Since many of my targets were in the church it soon became the target, as well.  I became frustrated and critical of the church.  At first my criticism was shared with the couple of people I still trusted, but eventually turned to anyone that would listen.  In time my “critiques” became malicious and I started to believe that it was justified.  I wanted to continue with the church as an important anchor in my spiritual growth and community, but it was becoming too painful because of my self-serving anger.  As I tried to continue on in the church the wedge continued to go deeper.

During this time I found myself desiring to be closer to God. Not in the same manner that I pursued him in the past.  Previously, I had sought to understand and dissect God, His church, His people, relevancy, etc.  I had poured over all the latest emergent writings, the latest pop culture church leaders’ blogs and some classic writings in search of clarity and wisdom.  The fact was I wasn’t really seeking God, but falling into the trap of discovery for discovery’s sake and not for a means to truly change my heart and my life.  And what I learned in this storm was all my newfound knowledge did little to assist me in this moment.  The clutter of writings, videos, and podcasts only left me unsettled.  In frustration I gave up and continued attending church (I had moved my family to a new church where we didn’t know anyone).

One day during a service I went to pray and it was heavy on my heart to pray, but I couldn’t bring a single thing to my tongue or my mind to say.  It was frustrating at first, but I continued in silence.  When the words of Psalms 23:1 – 3 came into memory; The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.  He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters.  He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. I would love to say it was like a bolt of lighting and it all became clear, but it wasn’t.  It took some time, but I finally got a clue.  My soul was seeking silence not more education.  I needed to be still and just know that He is God.  This one thing started to change my heart.  It made me give up and stop looking for how to fix people around me, the church, and myself; I was learning to just be.

I have started to learn how to truly forgive loved ones, people that had hurt me, and myself.  I constantly remind myself that my relationships and the church are made up of the one thing that will always fail us and are so short from perfect, people.  I have also learned to accept the fact that my relationships would always be flawed and I am bound to get hurt, as well as hurt others, as I am sure I have.

If you are reading this and where one of the individuals I hurt, I am truly sorry.

Posted in Community, Life, Ramblings | No Comments »

Group Observations

Monday, April 7th, 2008

I started a study of 1 Samuel this past weekend with my Men’s Group. We went over 1 Samuel 1 and dissected verse by verse. It was an informative couple of hours of reflection on Hannah’s predicament and her faith. It is interesting to think that God always seems to use the most unequipped people to change the earth or the direction of His church. Hannah was to give birth to Samuel the last judge of Israel and the one to anoint Saul the first king of Israel, but there was one issue, she was barren. Hannah was praying on the steps of the template for a son; which she swore to give to service of God.

There is much more in this story, but I repeated this to account for an observation made by a member of the group. He had commented on the great faith these people had in the Old Testament and how most of these great figures of faith were nobodies of their days. These people were rarely were witnessed to the great miracles and lived in seclusion only to visit the temple for special occasions. He then expressed his guilt and concern over our lack of faith, since we have all these examples of God providing for others and most importantly we now have Christ. I think he has a great point, why do we have so little faith?

I believe this lack of faith is due to our inability to rely on anyone but ourselves and our conceit. A.W. Tozer penned that he believed our current condition as a result of our loss of the majesty of God and dependence upon ourselves. “With our loss of the sense of majesty has come the further loss of religious awe and consciousness and divine Presence. We have lost our spirit of worship and our ability to withdraw inwardly to meet God in adoring silence. Modern Christianity is simply not producing the kind of Christian who can appreciate or experience the life in the Spirit. Be still, and know that I am God, means next to nothing to the self-confident, bustling worshiper…” (A.W. Tozer – 1961)

So, what do you think?

Posted in Community, Ministry, friends | No Comments »

Facebook

Wednesday, January 30th, 2008

I finally caved to the social pressures at work and joined Facebook; listed as Cyril Scott Jones.  I guess I can call it a community experiment.

Posted in Community | No Comments »

Thoughts on Community

Friday, October 12th, 2007

Daily a caravan of people travel to and from the suburbs to the city for their occupations on the train system and the numbers are inconceivable. They wake in the morning to a flurry of activity to meet the schedule defined by a engineer’s measurement of efficiency. Timetable efficiencies; how do we get the greatest number of people from point a to point b in the fewest number of vehicles with the least amount of opportunity to delay? Seating design; How many paying passengers can we load into a single car without bringing those passengers to a meltdown? Passenger fares; How do we acquire the fare in a manner to reduce the number of conductors with each train? Maintain peace; How do I get from point a to point b without confrontation and in the most expedient manner? We go through our day in much the same manner avoiding any unnecessary contact and efficiently make your way through the day to repeat the process to return home.

What does community look like? Is it possible that community can happen even in moments that are so impersonal and strained as a morning commute? I believe it can and it does everyday in some form or another. I speak to some of the same people everyday in my commute, many I don’t know there name or occupation. What I do know is if I am on the 6:22am train out of Aurora I have an expectation to see them sitting in across the aisle from me. Community happens when people feel any form of association or likeness. I mention this only to distinguish that community is not a common belief, but a common belonging. So, my thought is this; Is community what we are actually promoting within the post-modern church or is it the fellowship of Christ-Followers or Christ Seekers doing life together?

Does that makes sense or am I off my rocker?

Posted in Community, Life, Observed | 1 Comment »

The Pittsburgh Project

Wednesday, September 26th, 2007

I wanted to draw your attention to one of the most amazing community development organization I have ever been had the privilege to be involved with, The Pittsburgh Project. I was an adult leader that took a group of high school students with a church I attended in college. In that week I witnessed so many heart changes not just with the family my work team assisted, but also the kids I lead. The organization was so well ran and the projects that the kids are given make real impacts and life changes, not just cosmetic that fade once they are gone. I highly recommend this trip for any Youth Pastors considering Spring Break or Summer Youth Trips.

Go, serve a community one home at a time.

Posted in Community, Follow, Leadership | No Comments »

Who’s is in your circle?

Wednesday, May 23rd, 2007

Do people outside of church gather around you and want to hear what you have to say and enjoy your company?  Do those in religious establishments find you uncomfortable and mutter about you?  Do atheists want to hang out with you and Pharisees have issue with you?   
If this is your life, you are in excellent company; it was Christ’s, as well.  His company was sought after by sinners and tax collectors, but persecuted by the established religious leaders.  Christ was interested and drew those that did not fit in, those that have been rejected, and persecuted by the religious establishment.  Maybe we should start befriending the friendless, the outcast, and those that normally would be rejected by the church.  Maybe we should evaluate our friendships in a new way. 

Posted in Community, Life | No Comments »