30 Dec 2009

Facebook Cited in 20% of 2009 Divorces

Facebook Screenshot

An interesting or maybe I should say concerning stat for 2009 is the percentage of divorces citing Facebook in the decree. I don’t think Facebook deserves the whopping 20% of the mentions or blame.  I personally believe that parties start grasping for ammunition and ways to hurt their spouse in divorce proceedings.  What I do believe is that Facebook makes a permanent public record of much of the behavior that happens in a generally more passive manner or within the hidden heart of man.  Do not get me wrong, I do think that the tool can lead to or make improper behavior easier, but the true issue is the heart of man.  Consider the casual conversation with coworkers or quick phone conversations; do they have any sense of flirting or sexual tension?  My point is; often, much what happens on Facebook happens between men and women in professional, civic and social settings, but are fleeting moments that are not thoroughly placed under examination.  Consider this, would you be comfortable with your spouse hanging at a bar daily with singles, former significant others and prowlers looking for an opportunity to encroach on their life?

I would suggest that you use great caution with all networking tools, not stop using them. They can make you vulnerable to people that you might normally avoid or not see in your day-to-day life and they provide a perceived secret place to do some “harmless” flirting.  Be wary and open with your spouse as to prevent any acts of betrayal of trust.

Article on Facebook and Divorce Stats http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/facebook/6857918/Facebook-fuelling-divorce-research-claims.html.

27 Aug 2009

Encouragement from Open Chair

I had received some awesome encouragement during men’s group and wanted to give an old-fashioned praise report.  We were discussing Job and as we tend to get sometimes intense and not always careful on our volume.  A man walked up and asked if we had an open chair to which few of answered, yes.  He introduced himself as Frank and explained that his family was in the car, but wanted to join us and asked the time and interval we met.  It was really encouraging to have some confirmation that this group could have a positive influence on others, but also that our often loud moments discussing scripture where not offensive.

Saturday Mornings with the Guys

My old men’s group got back together for the first time in 11 months on Saturday, August 15th after I stepped down from leadership of the group.  We decided to meet at the location where the group was meeting 5 years ago when I first joined, Panera Bread in Oswego.  It was an encouraging seeing 10 of the 15 guys I invited showed up to get this started once again.  This group of men has been through ups and downs and has come back together as though we were always there and had never stopped. I realized this group had really become more than a bunch of guys who meet to discuss the topic of the week or because a church encouraged us to meet regularly to experience community.  We are a group of men from many different churches, if we attend at all, that has and is experiencing real community and not a pulpit buzzword. We have actually grown into each other’s lives and dare I say it have grown to be brothers.

I am looking forward to the early Saturday mornings, once again.

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